How to spot a pen pal scam (and stay safe writing to strangers)

8 October 2026 · Hasty

The short answer: a pen pal who asks for money, gift cards or crypto, rushes the friendship, or wants to move to another app is a red flag. Real pen pals are happy to go slowly and never need your money or your address.

How common are these scams?

Romance and friendship scams are big business: romance scams cost Americans about $697 million across roughly 59,000 reports in 2024, according to FTC data compiled by Comparitech. They often start as friendly conversation, not romance.

Warning signs

Money, in any form: an emergency, a medical bill, a plane ticket, a parcel stuck at customs, an investment “opportunity”.
Gift cards or crypto: no genuine person needs these from a pen pal.
Rushing: intense flattery, talk of fate, or “I’ve never felt this way” within days.
Moving off the app: asking for your WhatsApp, Telegram or email early on.
Stories that don’t add up, or photos that look like a model’s. A reverse image search often finds them elsewhere.

Rules that keep you safe

Never send money, gift cards or crypto to anyone you’ve only met online.
You never need to share your home address, phone number or other accounts.
Take your time. Anyone genuine will wait.
Report and block freely. It never costs you anything.

The US Federal Trade Commission has a clear guide: What to know about romance scams.

Where Hasty fits

Hasty is for adults only. Every letter is checked before it’s delivered, and letters that look like scams or ask for money are held for review. You only share the city you write from, photos stay hidden until you choose to see them, and you can report or block anyone from any letter. No system catches everything, so the rules above still matter. How Hasty keeps letters safe.

Letters that take the long way

Hasty is a slow, calm pen pal app for adults, coming soon to Android. Be the first to write.