HastyShould you delete Instagram? How to keep friends without social media
8 October 2026 · Hasty
The short answer: if Instagram mostly shows you strangers, ads and reels, and you rarely hear from friends there, you’re not losing much by leaving. The real question is how you’ll stay in touch with the people you care about, and that’s easier to solve than it sounds.
Social media has quietly stopped being social
By Meta’s own figures at its 2025 antitrust trial, time spent looking at friends’ posts fell to 7% on Instagram and 17% on Facebook, down from 11% and 22% two years earlier. If your feed feels like it’s full of people you don’t know, that’s because it is.
Questions to ask before deleting
- Who do I actually hear from here? Write their names down.
- How do I feel after ten minutes on it: closer to people, or worse about myself?
- Do I need it for work, events or groups? Could I keep it, but delete the app from my phone?
- What would I do with the time instead?
How to keep your friends without the feed
- Tell people you’re leaving, and how to reach you instead.
- Move your close friends to direct contact: a group chat, a phone call every few weeks, a standing coffee.
- Write to people. A longer message once in a while says more than a hundred likes.
- Download your photos first (Instagram: Settings → Accounts Centre → Your information and permissions → Download your information).
- Try deactivating before deleting if you’re not sure. You can come back.
Taking a break from social media first
Not sure? Take a social media break: a week, then a month. A social media detox shows you what you actually miss. Many people find it’s a handful of friends, not the feed.
Deleting other apps too
The same questions apply to deleting Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat or Twitter. Keep the people, lose the feed. If you need an alternative to Instagram, TikTok or Facebook, look for apps with no feed, no likes and no ads, and that are made for people you actually talk to.
Comparison, and why social media can feel fake
“Instagram vs reality” is a whole genre for a reason: feeds show highlights. If comparison hurts your self-esteem, hiding like counts (Instagram: Settings → Likes and shares) helps a little; leaving helps more.
Where Hasty fits
Hasty isn’t a replacement for your friends, but it is a different kind of social: letters to pen pals around the world, with no feed, no likes, no follower counts and no ads. If what you miss about social media is hearing from people, it might be what you keep.
Letters that take the long way
Hasty is a slow, calm pen pal app for adults, coming soon to Android. Be the first to write.
More guides
- What to do instead of doomscrolling
- Left on read: why it hurts, and messaging without read receipts
- How to make friends as an adult (without dating apps)
- The dead internet and AI slop: why we built Hasty around letters
- How to spot a pen pal scam (and stay safe writing to strangers)
- Questions to ask a pen pal (and what to write in a letter)
- What is snail mail? Happy mail, mail art and why letters are back
- Stamp collecting for beginners: philately, postmarks and postcard collecting
- Slow living: calm apps, analog hobbies and less screen time
- Feeling lonely? Gentle ways to feel less alone
Questions people ask
Should I delete Instagram?
Should I delete Instagram? If it mostly shows strangers and ads and leaves you feeling worse, deleting Instagram (or taking a break) is reasonable. Quit Instagram only after you’ve moved your close friends somewhere else.
Should I delete TikTok, Snapchat or Twitter?
The same questions apply to deleting TikTok, deleting Snapchat and deleting Twitter, and to “should I delete TikTok”: keep the people, lose the feed.
What is a good social media alternative?
A social media alternative keeps the people and drops the feed. Look for an alternative to Facebook or an alternative to TikTok with no likes, no ads and no algorithm, made for people you actually talk to.
I hate social media. What can I do?
If you hate social media, you’re in good company: anti social media feelings, communities like the nosurf Reddit community (r/nosurf), and life without social media are all common. Deleting social media can be gradual: you can quit social media one app at a time.
Does social media affect self-esteem and body image?
Social media comparison, social media self esteem and social media and body image are closely linked: feeds show highlights, and social media is fake in the sense that it’s edited. Hide likes on Instagram (hide likes Instagram: Settings → Likes and shares) to take a little pressure off.